Others Don't Have To Be Just Like Me Before I Can Accept Them

BE LIKE ME SO THAT I LIKE YOU! 

     Normally we are very particular about who we want to interact with.We have strong preferences about the relationships we build,the kind of people we want to relate to.Their culture,their appearance etc better  reflect a strong similarity to our.Or else.We are strongly biased towards similar  types,smething called Doppleganger effect in management circles.Yet this effect can have severely limiting repercussions.For one,it contsricts our ability to grow and evolve to our highest potential.

     What makes us different?

What sets us apart  from other people is primarily,our culture,aspirations and appearances.While appearances and aspirations don’t impinge too much on our ability to jell with one another,culture impacts us hugely.It stands out like a giant bump on the road to interpersonal-synergy.Culture includes the other person’s heritage,religious inclinations,ethos,language,beliefs,biased motives,societal norms,and the resulting indoctrination emerging out of all these aspects.This indoctrination is  like a flag that flutters wildly in the turbulent winds of interpersonal exchange.;and we end up paying a lot of attention to the flag overhead.We feel compelled to owe allegiance to our own “flag” at all costs.

What We Miss Out

SIMILARITY AMONG US  IS UBIQUITOUS 

Unfortunately,in the bargain,we miss the fact that eventually we are all human ,and therefore more similar than dissimilar. We have more in common at a profound level ,and the differences are very superficial,at best.Even a sweeping glance across civilizations and cultures bears testimony to the fact that festivity and ominous events are rooted in the same cause.Why,then,are we unable to see the harmony arising from  the similarities?Why this “hyper- emphasis” on dissimilarity,and the rigid carping on a frozen stance that generates gulfs between individuals,and groups.

This perceived separation between various groups of people acts like a glass wall.You can see through it.Yet the differences are seemingly more opaque,and the commonality less transparent.

The differences ,imagined or real,assume such enormous importance that there is always a corresponding undercurrent.Even if the surface is apparently harmonious, the subtle nature of our separation tugs at our inner strings.The end result is overt,or covert prejudice ,disdain,intolerance,complexes(superior,inferior).Of course exceptions prevail ,yet it is good to have the exception as a norm instead of being left to  preside over a simmering pot of discontent and distrust.The only credible criteria required to generate harmony,synergy and good will is genuine good feeling,and zero pretense.Because any pretense will only be grounded in the same undercurrent and will only fly the same fluttering flag of distrust(concealed for the moment).

Possible Alternatives For Harmony   

Acceptance.

LEARN TO RELISH THE VARIETY 

We can stop resisting other people and groups of people,merely because they represent a different set of beliefs.Do we question whether their beliefs are purposely directed at our annihilation .If that is not the case then we can be more approachable,more flexible in our attitude towards them.Even if we do not need to be over intimate with other types of people ,at least we can permit them elbow space in our mindspace.Try it.It might even help you release enormous doses of energy withheld so long for something less welcome.

Respect The Differences

Every body is entitled to his own preferences.Some preferences a person generates out of his personal inclinations.Some preferences are inherited from his culture.As long as their preferences do not imperil our existence or baisc human privileges we can nurture within ourselves the strength to respect them.Respect, that is decidedly a notch above mere toleration.It requires strength to do so,and when you do it,it consequently generates further strength.

Endeavour To Comprehend Beyond The Obvious

Try and understand what is ticking the other types of people to function the way they are.While you are under no compulsion to switch camps you still have a broad mind and a bigger heart to expand your own insight,which does you a load of good for your personal evolution as well.

Civility And Politeness

The very basic benefit you can bring to the transaction of differences is civility.You can be polite and courteous enough to permit the other person to live in their domain of dignity.Even if the other people/group has mannerisms,conduct ,and attitudes different from  yours,they deserve that minimal offering of a courteous acceptance.

Words Of Enlightened Acceptance

The words which you use to describe the differences with others are exceptionally important.How do you describe the differences with others to yourself ?how do you describe the differences with others to those of your own  flock?Are you less than tolerant,disdainful,skeptical?Prejudiced?Or are you 

  NO ONE TO  KNOCK DOWN

making an effort to understand the other?Are you civil in your dialogue about others?

Remember,words are vital to our interaction with the world.They give structure to our civilizations and also shape our own comprehension of life,thereby shaping our destiny.The best part about words is they are free of cost. Buckminster Fuller said “Words are the most powerful tools created by mankind”.While that is a fact we can become the first responders to this call and begin to build bridges where there were none before.

Last Word

Really it is possible get over the urge to accept people only,and only after being convinced that they are exact replicas of us in all ways possible.

Helps a lot to smile in the bargain.