FOR GOD'S SAKE LOVE YOURSELF; DE-CATASTROPHISE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

THE HEAVENS DON'T FALL TILL YOU DO

     As grown ups we become very good at creating catastrophes out of very normal day to day activities.Everything that doesn’t seem to go the way we want it to go carries the impression of a disaster ,a catastrophe. That is the reason why we need to decatastrophise our lives so much.

    Some people believe de-cluttering our life adds to a lot of good;good vibes,better surroundings,clear thinking,better chi energy etc.While that happens to be true,it is essential to pay deeper attention to de-catatrophising our lives a s well.

   

    This decatastrophising is especially important when we consider our relationships with others,when we go seeking approval,when we are in need of applause,and acceptance.It is then that we meet our internal demons of strife and disturbance.We are unable to handle the ensuing flood of conflicting emotions when we do not obtain the much desired approval and acceptance we yearn for.

      When are we happiest? When some one is good with us we feel satisfied;someone who is significant to our expectations.When they do not treat us with the expected cordiality ,we are less than happy.Then on a sunny morning when they again meet us with a happier frame of mind we are instantly mollified.And so on it goes.

     That is why the Wise sage asks his disciple “when someone is speaking nicely to you you are happy.When he’s not good to you you you’re unhappy, is it?So you are a kid who need a pat on the head always.Does it really matter what someone else is saying to you?

When Are We Unhappiest We become unhappy again and again because we are forgetful.We are forgetful of our good tenets and we are forgetful of the fact that unhappy events pass.

 We accord them too much unnecessary importance,whenever we are accosted by them.How quickly do you forget your good tenets when faced with adverse circumstances,adverse events,people,behavior,conditions,change etc?

How frequently do you yield to negative memories,anticipations,imaginary worries,negative concepts,negative focus,negative stimulation?

All this internal strife within us happens at a cost.We stop enjoying the many little but great joys of life;in tiny, forgetful steps.We do not realize that “if we will not enjoy our lives ,our moments ,who else will do that for us?”Enjoying our lives,being happy ourselves is not any one else’s responsibility.It is squarely ours.

The Greatest Catastrophe Is Unkindness To Ourselves

KINDNESS PAYS "YOU"

Often we are kind to others ,but most unkind to ourselves.We are guilty of self deprecation in relation to others.We regret this,fear that,agitate over  another ,frustrate ourselves over yet another,fume at something more,complain about so many more things.The ultimate result is a storm of upset emotions within our selves.Emotional control is often the least of our concerns;emotions are on autopilot,they need no regulation,or so we think.They swing like an erratic pendulum from one extreme to another ,without a pattern.Their sole determinant is a set of outer circumstances,and a set of mechanical responses that are based on borrowed wisdom.Borrowed from the street side hawkers of human relationship expertise.This wild and haphazard  swing of  human emotions is the greatest catastrophe ,if ever there was one.This is also the most unkind acts done to any one.And we routinely do it to our own selves.Why?

The Self Tirade You are constantly involved in a tirade against yourself,constantly denouncing and discouraging yourself.You are also constantly searching for the minutest excuse to make yourself unhappy.Why don’t you reverse this pattern?You are constantly deciding your right to be happy and worthy depending on your comparisons with others,or their imagined responses,or past responses toward you .You have forgotten to value the most important person in the universe.You.

This is catastrophe of another order.

When you are tempted to worry and feel bad remember, someone rightly said “be calm about all minor issues.Moreover all issues are minor issues.”

When you face the catastrophe of disliking yourself, or disturbing yourself over inevitable ups and downs of life on planet earth.............................. remember  to“be good to yourself.Be patient .Be kind .Be forgiving.After all you’re all you’ve got.”