Emotional Effectiveness Invites Happiness and A High PHI

We Love To Be Happy

All of us want to be basically happy and peaceful in life.The search for happiness is the biggest search of human life.Everybody is constantly engaged in the pursuit of happiness;regardless of whether they are street gangsters or saints, or noble prize winners .The most selfish person and the most selfless are equally committed to the pursuit of happiness.Yet in that incessant search for something common to all of us, we all tread on a path that sometimes may not actually lead us to our desired end state.

The easiest way to be happy is to remain happy ,come what may.

Yet this seemingly simple fact is ,paradoxically, trapped between layers of habitual tendencies that, many times ,drag us away from our coveted goal.Just being happy is the simplest way out.Other than that the next best option is to seek emotional control in our day to day activities,in the humdrum transactions with life.The humdrum then becomes very interesting and fulfilling

If you are really committed to finding your happiness then you need to do at least  some soul searching.Maybe it sounds just too high falutin to a lot of us ,yet that is exactly what I am  recommending.

What gets you down repeatedly  what   gets you thinking ,feeling and responding to life negatively again and again?Do  you tend to keep thinking of something distasteful,unpleasant  repeatedly?Even long after the incident is over?Even in cases where you are unlikely to do anything constructive in that direction in future?Maybe this tendency is standing between you and your emotional effectiveness.Your  personal happiness index(PHI).  

Analyse Yourself

Watch yourself,analyse yourself. Just as you brush your teeth daily,take a haircut regularly,get a physical health checkup periodically,you must do a self analysis frequently as well.Its simple if you are committed to being emotionally effective.The only reason is that you don’t have to remain at the mercy of habitual tendencies for life,tendencies that do not

contribute to your personal effectiveness in any way,or tendencies that take away from you even an iota of your personal happiness index(PHI).

After all happiness is your all time goal,remember?It makes sense to commit yourself to mastering your approach to life,instead of ad nauseum repeating the same ineffective responses,that take you away from your intended happiness. Interestingly most negative tendencies can be changed with a bit of tweaking of your  “internal software”.

So you need to analyse yourself.Self analysis(soul searching) is a sine qua non for your pursuit of happiness and the PHI.Soul searching is just another discipline ,just another  regular activity  that brings you personal fulfillment in the short, and long term, both.

Look at yourself deeply.You are self responsible. No one else is responsible for your state of mind other than you yourself.What goes on in your mind dictates how you will interpret the reality around you.Your internal “hum”  is important for your emotional effectiveness and your own happiness and confidence .Your PHI .And your PHI is a direct outcome of your  confidence,your self liking and your emotional balance in all circumstances.
What do you have to do?You simply have to remain at the highest level of your PHI ,no matter what.How much ever you may be surrounded with trying situations,how muchever you may be tempted to lash out, how much ever you may feel justified in getting irritated and disturbed ;there is no justification,no support for your emotional upheaval.There is no compulsion on your shoulders to prove your goodness through your irritation,and your emotional turmoil.Realsie the fact that you are the only one responsible for  manufacturing your happiness,for creating your peak PHI.

Not circumstance but attitude makes the difference.What can you do to increase your happiness?The most important step is to realsie that it’s not your circumstances that determine your emotional balance and happiness.It’s you who decide that.You are the one who is responsible for your frame of mind ,and no one else.You cannot shift the blame for how ypou feel at any given time on the shoulders of another person .At all.You may sometimeslike to ask yourself some intelligent questions,like  what will happen if you don’t react in the customary disturbed way when something or someone doesn’t conform to your desired outcomes?
When you do that ,when you pose questions like that to yourself routinely something starts to shift within you.You begin to realize your shortcomings, tiny gradations of your internal tendencies.


Be committed to remaining happy. You take an oath.You swear to your own good self,and you promise yourself that you will always remain happy in the first place .Thereafter you will continue to live life,meet life as it comes toyou.Is that too difficult really?If your answer is yes you must ask yourself why isit difficult?what makes it difficult?If your answer is no then you must question yourself what is it you are doing to make things work.


Make a two hour goal to be happy. Commit yourself to remain happy at all times .Sometimes this may sound like a tall order considering that you have  a repertoire of  long drawn out episodes of getting upset at many incidents if life.
Even if this is the case,even if you feel you are dee[ply entrenched into negative thinking you can still sit down and decide to change tack anytimeyou want to do that.All you need is a plan.A systematic approach to breaking down your commitment  into smaller ,manageable parts,and for doing that there is nothing like setting timelines.Setting “brackets” of time.Within your decided bracket you stick to a specific em otional plan.You remain happy or confident or calm or whatever you want  to be, within that bracket.Say you want to change your irritated  attitude to a calm one.It wont happen in one day.And it won’t happen in many days either by merely reading about it or being advised about it.
You need an action plan,and that is the beginning.You need to know what to do.Once you know such a possibility exists,such a plan exists that will take you to your desired “mentality goal” ,things will begin to roll.

A Two Hour Bracket Breaks The  Unhappiness Tendency 

Now the bracket part.Set a two hour bracket for yourself.Say morning  nine to eleven,during which time you will not permit any thing to trigger your violent outburst,or your agitated irritation.This two hour bracket is actually sacred.At least for starters treat it that way.Just do not respond to things that habitual way that you do.Say something polite instead of being sarcastic,rude,or cynical.During your bracket, things and outer circumstances will continue to happen the way they do usually.Only you have changed your response pattern for that finite duration.


What are the possible outcomes of being happy?You do this partly also  by questioning yourself about the possible outcomes if you didn’t respond in  your usual manner?what would be the worst calamity to befall you if you did change your response pattern? Whatever  colossal disaster that you can conjure up about the possible outcomes accept it mentally for that finite duration.What worse after that?Accept that possibility as well,and so on.Then next, consider the possible advantages of your new response pattern.You can be happier,calmer,you can be emotionally more effective,you can be rid of the chain reaction of a frustrating stimulus response cycle.


Now what is the over all benefit of this time bracket ?What if you indeed have managed to stay emotionally balanced for your bracketed period ?What then.well the biggest benefit is that you are already on the road to achievement,confidence,and personal mastery.Even if your beginning is a modest time your action brings tremendous hope for fulfillment.There is hope ,and there is courage to be found in that fact for you.



Never give up on your efforts.Your effort is the only determinant that can swing results  in your favour,change your karma,alter your future, ensure your evolution, and your growth .