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Monday 16 December 2013

Tank Up With The Right Emotions






The other day one of my friends had taken his car to the neighborhood petrol bunk for refueling his car.He narrated a curious incident  that  transpired there,which really got me thinking.

One guy arrived in a Merc at the petrol bunk and waited his turn for topping up,while he sat inside his swank car chatting on the phone.Soon the fuel attendant had done the job,and the Merc owner was handing out the payment ,when he stopped short.Something was wrong,apparently the money he was paying was far less than the amount he had anticipated to dish out .He took a closer look and was horrified.When the owner was not looking ,his car had been topped up  with diesel instead of petrol! Massive damage had  already been done and it was too late now.


Not a very pleasant thing to have happened,and not very uncommon either.Yet  this kind of a transaction is not just restricted to “cross-purpose” fuelling of cars alone.This kind of cross purpose refueling happens every day in our lives ,when we are not looking.

Yes we let our lives be refueled ,again and again with negativity.

We only wait while this happens passively ,permit it unconsciously,and suffer ignorantly.Then we  regret later when it is too late.Even then we realize only the symptoms and not the cause.The symptoms of unhappiness,worry fear,emotional ineffectiveness,low self esteem,abrasive relationships,poor hold over our emotions,low zest for life,seriousness,cynicism .What are the cause(s) of this affliction?Why are we ignorant of them?Is it ignorance of the causes, or denial ?Or both?



We permit ourselves to remain open to the ambient  negativity in the environment around us.Of course our environment contains an abundance of positivity as well.Certainly more than the negativity.The real fuel we need to run our lives efficiently is unadulterated positivity.Yet ,like the hapless Merc owner we allow anyone to fill our mind (the fuel tank) with any kind of belief,concept,idea,thought,memory,habits,tendencies.Anything at all.We are not looking at that really.


Simply put we just succumb to any negativity that prevails around us.Someone complaining,someone criticizing,disturbing news articles,criticism,gossip,negative memories,worries, negative projection, emulating negative behavior of others.An endless and fruitless list in fact.

Yet  there are a few commonsense actions we can easily take to avoid refuelling ourselves with unnecessary negativity.

1.      Don't think negatively about the past and the future.There  are many alternatives.I can suggest to you lots of them.But I sincerely encourage you to find out some of them for yourself.The exercise of looking for the alternatives itself will  feel far more elevating than being a helpless victim.

2.      Don’t listen to negative talk.Even if you must, don’t empathise.

3.      Don’t speak negatively.There is no compulsion on your shoulders to always follow others. Don't use negative words just so that you sound cool,and in sync with your significant company. It’s not necessary.It’s the “cross purpose fuel”,remember.It comes with a big promise long term losses,make no mistake about that.

4.      Don’t  see.Yes,for instance, you don’t have to look deeply into someone’s facial expressions when they are angry,and negatively turned on.It does you no good.You can also live without looking deeply with emotion at a lot of things;for instance negative television,cynical literature.It’s diesel instead of the much needed petrol of hope,faith and positivity.
5.      Don’t keep ruminating.And remembering the negative transactions with others.Let them go .Don’t keep chewing “negative cud”.

6.      Stop complaining.Do something constructive instead.Try it the next time you are faced with something apparently upsetting.It takes less time,expends less energy than fretting.And leaves you feeling more satisfied,confident ,exhilarated ,and positive.

7.      Don’t remember with emotion,negative experiences of the past.This way you yourself are topping your tank with the wrong fuel.Use your emotions only for making positive contact with your memories and expectations.Your  positive emotions are your biggest investment .And they are absolutely free of cost. Don’t squander your time and energy on gambling with negative emotions.

8.      Don’t anticipate with worry and fear.Hope, faith,confidence,optimism can be practiced.Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re being realistic by indulging in your favourite pastime of worry, fear,apprehension,anxiety,irritation,frustration,and silent complaint.Constructive work done with a positive intent is the only realistic thing you can do.

9.      Don’t grudge. “They” were responsible for your unhappiness.Yes your analysis is bang on,so accurate.Congratulations! Now what? You intend to live with your grudge throughout  your life,waiting impatiently for an opportune moment to pay back in similar coin?You’re topping your tank all this while with,I’m sure, you know what….


10.    Don’t  judge.Judgement is the twin brother of criticism,and the best pal of cynicism.They take you nowhere,other than topping your tank with toxic fuel,to keep you charged for imploding on your own self.

There is a lot you can do for yourself, to prevent topping your car with the wrong kind of fuel.
It's important, you know.Especially when you want to have a good ride in life.Not a bumpy one.


What sort of a ride do you plan on having in your life?




Over to you my friends....

2 comments:

Vishnu said...

Mona, a good reminder in this post to let us know that we should strive to be more mindful of the thoughts and circumstances in our lives.

I think you've outlined almost every way that negativity and negative thinking creeps into our life. I believe the only way to deal with this is to become conscious and mindful of it.

Some people don't realize how much they complain, judge or hold grudges against others.

by realizing what our mind does, we can refuse to play along with the negativity and other characteristics you describe. we can consciously chose optimism and positivity. And enjoy that smooth ride you talk about.

Unknown said...

Yes Vishnu g you've made a good point there.We complain and judge so much that we lose track of the dangerous effects of this negativity altogether.
The more we cultivate a positive aura around us the better we get at evating negativity.
Thanks