13 Great Qualities You Can Achieve Only Through Relationships

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” 
Donald Miller

We're Born To Exist Together

Relationships  are important for human development.There is so much to learn and grow from  a relationship. They help you to evolve in every conceivable  manner.No wonder that even God Himself felt incomplete,alone.The Genesis tells us the reason behind our existence,sociologists say man is a social animal. Why? Why cant man live and grow alone?Why didn’t God create all of us on separate planets ,one for each.Surely God had enough power to do that if he willed.

But

 It didn’t happen that way because there is a purposeful design for all of us to be together in space and time.The design is to grow ,to evolve,because of each other,and in some cases,despite  each other.Yet all along, there has always been a profound reasoning behind co-existence.We ,as humans, evolve,grow,and achieve dizzying heights only when we share a relatedness.It does not matter whether you know the other person or not.You are human ,you exist simultaneously in space and time,that is all.

Period.

There are some attribute wchich we attain only when there is relativity in our midst.When there is relatedness,when there is a measure  available to determine our progress.What all can we achieve from our relationships?

1.    Selflessness . we experience selflessness only when we are related to each other.When we can go out of our way ,when we can offer value to someone unasked for,when we can go beyond our petty concerns ,we are selfless.That is possible only when we co exist in relationships.A person living  alone on “maroon island” surely cannot be selfless.In relation to whom would he be selfless?Even if he had the whole world’s wealth in his isolated existence to last a life time,he would still be incapable of selflessness.We need to count ourselves lucky for being able to reach out to others,and transcend ourselves.The satisfaction derived from this one innocuous activity is indescribable.

2.    Inspire.People tend to learn from each other,people grow when they observe another human displaying qualities that they admire.People observe and emulate.Humans are dynamic,and dynamism  implies we continuously grow from our subtle ,unseen,doses of “absorption” off each other.That is the power of relationships.You watch ,you grow,you evolve.Perhaps if you live in seclusion,there is little to imbibe from a human standpoint.Its a different matter, though ,that a Walden like existence has its own profound value.Yet the growth of the individual soul,and collective civilisation,as such,pivots on related existence.

3.    Help. Pretty evident that when you live alone there is little possibility of helpingsomeone,of being useful to someone.When you help some one or get help ,it’s the same .You inevitably grow form this transaction.Every help rendered ,or obtained leaves a trace of the exchange with the involved party.The silent inner being registers a “give” or a “take”,each of which is a divine program that gets installed for future retrieval and running.

Collective Responsibility

4.    Cooperate.There are moments when there is a pressing need to work in unison,in consonance,for the greater benefit of  people involved. In the exchange of selfless contribution,people instantly transcend themselves.This is a start point for collective and individual growth.Again all this can't happen alone,in isolation.You need people,society,relationships to exchange and cooperate.

5.    Appreciate. When you appreciate you  make others feel better,you lend them a bit of external validation.Your words,and actions matter to them at that instant.Appreciation is such a marvelous human power that no other living being possesses  it,literally.You are unique in your capacity to appreciate,to help  light up some one’s life for  a few moments.To begin with, the act of appreciation is only a few moments long in most cases,yet the after effects on the one receiving the appreciation are life transforming. Again the benefits are ,in most cases,hidden,unseen.But ,boy!what matchless power you wield with your capacity to appreciate.The power to brighten up someone,to validate someone,to uplift,to encourage,to  help grow ,and grow yourself.

It's A Win Win Being With Each Other

6.    Make The Other Win. In relationships you can practice the altruistic urge to help the other guy win. After all you don’t always need to compete,don’t always have to win by beating out another.There certainly is a possibility to win by letting the other guy also win at times.This is an offshoot of humility.It also indicates your ability to grow,to go beyond your brute ,animal instinct of fight and flight .

7.    Respect.  Part of existing together in relationships also involves having different tastes,tendencies,cultural,personal ,psychological differences.Yet the ability to stand apart from the apparent differences and still live in harmony is a sublime attribute.You don’t need to follow others,and you don’t need to repudiate them either to live peacefully together.One of the biggest indicators of advanced cultures is the ability to respect each other.

8.    Kindness.  There is  a  great possibility open before you to be understanding,with the intention of helping,politely.Polite help is critical to development of humility.Any one can be rude,arrogant,sarcastic,humiliating in relation to another person who is incapable of paying you back in the same coin.Yet it requires great wisdom and courage to treat the temporarily underprivileged with a measure of politeness and understanding.It requires insight to withhold the urge to be condescending and making the other person feel obliged.

9.    Empathy.  when some one is in pain,when some one is in dire need,in a soup hurt,grieving,discouraged,overcome,dis balanced ,distraught it requires some effort to lend a helping hand,besides the customary lip sympathy.That too with a genuine and deep insight into the troubled one’s actual problems.Empathy sets man apart from animals.And it elevates us for a long duration after it has been rendered.

10.  Care.  Attending to someone who needs you attention ,who is without succor,who requires your presence.Most often attending to physical needs falls in the category of care giving.Yet the definition extends to verbal,mental,psychological care as well.When you attend to someone in pain you are essentially caring.  

11. Love.   Indisputably ,love is the basic emotion moving everything on our planet.Nothing spectacular ever happens unless it is rooted in love ,nothing great gets done if it’s not based in the depths of love.Every selfless action of mankind is a founded on love; whether it is the concealed love for humanity behind a scientific invention,or the love for providing profound insights to mankind through the arts,or even the love for the country in the heart of   a grunting soldier.Love begets the greatest and the subtlest results.You and I exist due to love physically and spiritually.

12. Humility.  Humility is the start point of greatness.No great one ever walked this planet who was not truly humble.If he wasn't humble,he doesn't deserve the accolades of greatness either.Humility is essentially a resolve to facilitate human betterment,yet remain unaffected by the applause that follows your outstanding performance.

Togetherness Heals

13.  Greatness  You become great in your own eyes,in reference to yourself when you realize that you can overcome your own limitations.You increase your own value ,materially and spiritually,by your diligence,by your hard work.You succeed,you bask in your well deserved sense of achievement. and yet remain committed to better someone else's life.Through your material ,mental,or spiritual achievements you  help others, inspire others ,encourage others.This much, or more automatically sets you apart from a tendency to vegetate in oblivion,even if it is affluent oblivion.